Selah

On Sunday, August 17, a group of us from church went to see the group "Selah" at Simpsonville First Baptist Church. We met for an early dinner at Cracker Barrel before the concert.

James and Colby acting goofy.

Eddie and me

Jody and Michelle

Emily and Jennifer

James and Kristy

Sisters--Margaret and Alitia

Emily, me and Michelle in the church

The group Selah

It was such a wonderful evening of worship. I was so moved by Amy's voice--the voice of an angel! I have kept up with Todd's story through his wife's blog www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com, so to hear him tell the story in person really touched me.

Playing

..with my new camera. I have had fun the past week playing around with my new Sony DSLR-A300. I have been experimenting with the different settings.

Eddie reading on Saturday morning

James and Kristy at the Cracker Barrel (bad glare from the flash)

Leigh Anne with Sarah Katherine and Matthew

Jody and Michelle at the Cracker Barrel

Flowers on my patio

August 16

There are certain days in your life when you can remember exactly what you were doing, who you were with and where you were---there are a few in my life—today is one of them. I am not one of those died-in-the-wool Elvis fans like some people but I do remember the day he died. I think that Elvis did a lot for the music world—he was very talented but he was also the first rock-n-roll star and he carried all the baggage that lifestyle entails. I think that one of the reasons that he died so young is that he was made a god by so many people and he couldn’t live up to it—just my opinion.

Anyway, on that day back in 1977—I know some of my friends were not even born then—I was getting ready to start my senior year of high school. We had lived in North Carolina that summer so that we could be with my daddy—he was in construction and always had to work out of town. My sister, Kim, and I befriended a young woman whose husband worked for my daddy—I will call her Sally. Sally was from that part North Carolina and had a sister that lived a couple of hours away. She had the idea that we should go on a girl’s trip to see her sister for the weekend before school started back for us (we would be moving back to SC for school). The three of us piled into Sally’s husband’s pick-up truck and hit the road. We were traveling on Interstate 95 when we ran out of gas! We had to get out and walk to the next exit to get some gas—we could see the exit ramp but I thought we would never get there. I was so humiliated—I couldn’t believe that we were actually walking down the side of the interstate—Sally was maybe 24, Kim was 16 and I was 17. Of course, there was no such thing as cell phones back then! After we got the gas situation taken care of, we finally arrived at the home of Sally’s sister—and she wasn’t home! So what did we do? Well, we climbed in through the laundry room window—well ‘we’ didn’t but Sally did. I just knew that the police were going to come and arrest us for breaking and entering! So—now we are inside and ready to start our fun girls weekend so we turn on the TV—what else is there to do? There were special reports all over the TV telling us that the ‘King of Rock’n’Roll’ was dead!

When I think back on that day 31 years ago, I am struck by this thought—I wonder if the ‘king’ met ‘The King’ that day?

Some pictures from the 50th Anniversary party we hosted for Eddie's parents (we all wore black & white):













Fourth of July pictures:

Not Alone

There have been times in my life that I felt totally alone. Sometimes in a crowd, I feel more alone than ever. But, I think the darkest times of my life were the days of my teenage years. I was not a ‘cool’ kid, but I longed to be—I was not a straight-A student, but I longed to be—I was not the apple of my parents’ eye, but I longed to be—I did not feel loved, but how I longed for that most of all. Looking back, it pains me to think of all the mistakes that I made in that search for love—all those times I was trying to fill a void in my life. What I didn’t know then was that I could search the world over and never find another person or thing to fill that gap—that gap that can only be filled with the love of Christ.

I remember that when my Papa died, I got to have his bedroom at my Granny’s house—for some reason, they had separate bedrooms. His bedroom was now mine—at first, it was kind of creepy sleeping in there. I would lie in bed and think about him and wonder if his ‘ghost’ would come in the night (hey, I was 11 years old!) to scare me. There was a picture on the wall beside my bed in that room. It was a picture that I am sure has been printed millions of times—nothing original about it, but I would lie there and wonder if there was an angel watching over me. I couldn’t imagine being in the kind of danger like the little girl and boy in the picture. I would go to sleep thinking about that picture and how those children were being protected--I would wonder if they knew there was an angel standing guard over them. What I didn’t realize was that I was in danger, just not the same kind of danger. I was in danger of destroying myself—by trying to fill a void—by trying to feel accepted—by being a people-pleaser.
I now know that I was not alone--my LORD was with me. He protected me, He rescued me, and He redeemed me. Since I came to the cross, I know that I am never alone--His word tells me in Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Right before my Granny died, she called me to come to her house--she had something she wanted to give me. When I got there, she had the picture down and ready for me to take home with me. It matches nothing in my home (it is hanging in my sewing room) but I would take nothing for it. It has no monetary value, but it is priceless to me!

(not a good picture--a lot of glare on the glass)

To GOD be the GLORY!

When I first heard this rendition of this song, the very first person I thought of was my friend Emily and she will probably kill me for this! I sat and listened to this song and wept. I wept because of Audrey Caroline and the amazing faith of her mother, Angie--I wept because Todd can really sing-- and I wept when I remembered praying for a baby for Emily and Colby--praying that God's will would be the same as our desire--praying that God would see fit to bless them with a miracle. We were reminded that it wasn't just about having a baby--it was about giving up control--surrendering all--and I do mean ALL--it was about God performing a miracle that only HE could perform--and it was about God getting the GLORY--because we now know...GOD shares His glory with NO ONE! It was not about procedures, positions(oh my!), frequency(oh my, again!), or even about cricks or lace! (Inside joke) It was about surrendering all to the ONE who gives life--to maker of us all--to the one who knew us before time began--to the one who knit us together so perfectly in our mother's womb. He knew that He was going to bless them with sweet Matthew--and then just 16 months later with Sarah Katherine--but we didn't know that at the time. We just had to place our trust in HIM and know that He knows our future and His timing is not always the same as ours --but it is perfect, just like HE is!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

This is Matthew(aka Shu)--how cool is he?



And Sarah Katherine (aka Sissy)

Me, Afraid?

Back when I was a little girl, one of the things that terrified me most was the sound of an ambulance siren. One of the privileges of staying with my granny was that I got to carry Papa’s lunch or dinner to him at his store. I would carry his meal on a round tray—I can remember being so careful not to spill his coffee or to let his plate slip on that tray. It wasn’t far to his store—just next door, but I had to walk down the steps, then out the gate and across the parking lot to his store. They lived on the highway—back then, it was in the middle of the country—that is now called the ‘famous’ Woodruff Road. I can remember being on my way back to the house with Papa’s empty dishes on the tray and in the distance I could here the faint sounds of a siren coming up the highway. As it got closer and closer, I tried to move faster and faster—I can still hear those dishes rattle as I was trying to get inside before that ambulance got there. As I barely got inside the door, I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked out the window to see the vehicle from a safe vantage point. I don’t know what it was about that sound—it wasn’t like the sounds that ambulances make now—it was more long and drawn out—a real mournful sound. And the ambulances certainly don’t look like they did then—they were black and white station wagons with a red light on top—think Andy Griffin-ish.

I have always wondered why I would be afraid of something that may have the ability to save my life.

In Exodus 19 and 20, God had spoken to Moses and told him to tell the people to cleanse and consecrate themselves because the Lord was going to come to them on the third day. Well, on the third day when the people heard the thunder and saw the lightning on Mt. Sinai , they were afraid and told Moses that they didn’t want hear from God themselves, but wanted Moses to bring them the Word. The Israelites were afraid of the very One who could save them, the only One who could deliver them—and because of their fear, they received the message from Moses instead directly from the Lord.

At Deeper Still, Atlanta; Priscilla spoke on this scripture—along with several other verses—and I was really convicted that I rely on others to bring me the Word instead of digging and searching for it myself and letting God speak directly to me. It has been over 2 weeks since that Friday night, but that message is still fresh in my mind. I honestly believe that was the Word that the Lord had for me that weekend.

To be honest, it makes me afraid—afraid that I won’t be able to study the Word as well as Beth Moore could teach me, as thoroughly as Kay Arthur could teach, or as well as Priscilla Shirer could teach me. How can I dig for the nuggets? It is just overwhelming! There is so much in God’s word that I don’t know—I just pray that He would reveal what He wants me to learn. I really don't want to watch from a safe vantage point like I did with that ambulance--I want to be right in the center of where God wants me to be--even if it means being afraid--because I know that He will protect me. I also know that what He has to say to me will mean a whole lot more if I hear it for myself.

God with Us

I remember the very first time that I actually worshiped my Heavenly Father—my friend and co-worker, Libby, had told me about a musical that her church, Chestnut Ridge was doing. She talked about how the music was just so worshipful and that she had a demo cassette tape that she had been listening to and offered to let me borrow the tape. I remember that Eddie was working second shift and my children were little. I had put them to bed and put the tape on to play while I cleaned my kitchen. As soon as I started listening, I was brought before the Throne of Grace. I had never experienced such worship! I had tears in my eyes as I was overcome with such love—I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I think that was my very first taste of the kind of worship that I knew I was made for—the kind of worship that is uninhibited and allows for God to be truly praised.

At that time, I was a member of a very ritualistic denomination—a very loving congregation but missing that element of worship. Well, I set out to change the way we worshiped. I asked for more contemporary music, more in depth prayer groups, more intimate conversations in Sunday School—any kind of program that I thought would bring our little church to it’s knees, I wanted to try. After a while, Eddie got on the bandwagon too—we were on fire for the Lord, but our denomination kept extinguishing the flames or at least they tried. There were some issues in our church that we did not agree with and we sought to get them changed. By this time our children were teenagers and their Sunday School teacher was living a sinful lifestyle—but our church seemed to turn a blind eye where that was concerned. Eddie confronted that person and told him that he was living in sin and needed to repent—he told Eddie that he was sorry he felt the way he did but offered no remorse. Eddie then approached the pastor and several members but was told that it was not our place to judge him and we should just love him and accept him as he was—we did love him, but not his sin. After a while, we decided that the only people that were going to change were us—that is when we decided to change churches. It was not a decision that we made lightly—this was the church that Eddie had been raised in and the church that we married in, our children were raised there—we had many good memories associated with that church. We prayed and asked God to reveal His plan for us—to lead us to a place where we could grow and worship Him. I remember that we talked with an older lady in our church one night—we told her of our conviction that we needed to change churches but that we were torn because of the ties we had with that church. I will never forget what she told us—she said, “Eddie, this will hurt your mama badly, but she will get over it. You have to do what is right for you and your family.” I really appreciated her telling us that—she died shortly after we moved but I will always have that memory of her.

The first church I wanted to visit was Chestnut Ridge, of course. I longed for that worship and praise that I had experienced on that tape. Well, we ended up only visiting one other church and deciding that Chestnut Ridge was where we belonged. I am so glad that God was with us and directed us to this place. We have grown so much spiritually, praised God like I never imagined and made some amazing friends. Thank you Jesus for being our Strength and our Refuge—for being ever present—always with us.

June in Review

Where has the time gone? I have been so busy lately! The month of June was packed with fun and lots of memories for me.
The first week of June, we had Bible school at church. It was wonderful! I think I enjoyed it as much as the children! And I think Pastor Tony enjoyed it a little too much??

Eddie and I spent our 28th anniversary at Frogmore (aka St. Helena's Island, SC) fishing, eating, and just enjoying each other's company. It was absolutely wonderful--although we didn't catch much of anything except sharks. It must have been spawning season, because they were everywhere! I did catch one Spotted Sea Trout.

We went to the lake fishing a few times--caught a good many bream for the freezer. It won't be long before we can have a fish fry!




Last weekend, to top off the month, Emily and I went to Atlanta for Deeper Still. Amazing! I was just overwhelmed with the messages I received--I am still processing them! I will post more on this later.

Let Your Glory Fall

The Lord has truly let His glory fall upon our church. The past week has been a time of great sorrow, grief, and uncertainty for the youth of our church. One of our youth was in a car accident that resulted in his death. It has been amazing to see the body of Christ come together and grow closer because of this tragedy. I truly believe that this tragedy will not be in vain--I believe that our church is on the cusp of revival and I believe that it is going to be awesome. God is pouring out His glory on the body of Chestnut Ridge Baptist Church and I pray that we will never be the same again.
This song brings tears to my eyes--and I noticed that Don Moen has tears in his eyes also.

Isaiah 42:8 "I am the LORD; that is my name!

I will not give my glory to another
or my praise to idols.

Waiting

I should be used to waiting by now! It seems all my life has been spent waiting on others.

The first instance that I can remember waiting involved my grandmother. I was very close to “Granny”—I spent every available moment with her. I would have lived with her when I was little if I could have! In fact, after my papa died when I was 11, I did practically live with her because she afraid to stay alone. Anyway, when I was 6 or 7 years old, Granny and my aunt and uncle were going to the lake for the weekend. They asked me if I would like to go and of course I said yes, but I had to go ask my mama and get some clothes together. We lived just across a big pasture from Granny, so I ran home and hurriedly threw some things together and hurried back to Granny’s. When I got there, her door was locked and no one was home. Papa had a store right next door and he was there but he said he didn’t know if Granny and Cookie (my aunt) had left yet—maybe they had to run back to Cookie’s house to pick up something? Well, I sat there on the curb at the gas pumps for hours—everyone that came by asked what I was doing and I enthusiastically told them that I was going to the lake with my granny. I remember watching the road—I can see myself watching every car that came across the bridge from toward my aunt’s house thinking that this would be them. Looking back, I wonder why my papa didn’t just tell me to go on home—I guess he didn’t want to see me cry?? Finally at dark, I headed home—rejected and so disappointed.

This is my granny with my cousin, Alan and me at the lake after a productive day of fishing. (Notice the kerchief--my Granny insisted on covering your head in the wind--might get an earache or catch a cold!)

It seems this started a pattern in my life—just put what I want to do on hold while I wait on others to come and rescue me. I have always been afraid to make plans because there might be no one to show up—or someone else may have something better planned. It disturbs me that I have allowed this fear to control my life—the fear of rejection—of being left behind—of being disappointed. Eddie learned a long time ago that anytime he mentions doing something—like going fishing or buying a piece of furniture or looking at cars—he may as well go ahead and get ready because if he says anything about it, I think we are going to do it right then! Don’t mention to me that you might want to do something, because once I hear it—I am ready to go and I think that is because I am afraid that you might go without me. I am almost always early to special events because I am afraid of being left out—especially if there is a group that is meeting to travel together somewhere.

The Lord has me waiting on Him in this season of my life. I have heard Him call me to lead a Bible study, but I am waiting on Him to reveal the ones that I am supposed to approach to invite to join. This is very stressing to me—to know that I am supposed to do this but when? Who? Will they come? What if …? I can only trust that the Lord will reveal His will and pray that I will be obedient to walk in it. The difference between waiting on people and waiting on the Lord is that I know the Lord will not leave me nor will He forsake me. He has promised me that He will always be with me and that His word says that He will fill me with joy in His presence. I praise Him that He is faithful and merciful--He is holy and just and without Him, I would be without hope.

Psalm 33:20-22

20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

The More I Seek Him

Amanda has a post that really captures some of the feelings that I have when I think of running into people who knew me before Christ cleaned up my life. Isaiah 61 has been a passage that has brought me comfort. I have always cared too much about what others think of me and have avoided stepping out in faith because of that. There have been things that I know that I could be doing that I am not because of that fear. I blame my lack of obedience on my personality--not a leader, non-confrontational, people-pleaser, analytical, and the list goes on. But I am reminded that most of the people that God used in the Bible had some sort of personality issue--Peter was wishy-washy, Moses had trouble speaking, Paul was a persecutor of Christians, David was an adulterer and a murderer, and I could go on and on. The point is, if God can take imperfect people like that and use them as He did, then God can clearly use me for His purpose. Even though my sins were as scarlet, they have now been washed whiter than snow; as far as the east is from the west, so have my sins been removed from me.
I am finding that the more I seek Him, the more I realize that He doesn't intend for me to worry about what other people think and whatever "baggage" I may have in my past. He only wants me to live for Him now--to use what I have learned through those experiences to help others grow closer to Him. The Lord showed me this scripture in Isaiah this morning:

Isaiah 54:2-8

2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

I feel the Lord is telling me that He is telling me that He is enlarging my territory--that He is about to do something remarkable with my life. He is telling me to not be afraid--that I will not be shamed by the sins of my youth. He has called me back to Himself and He will be my strength and my fortress. He has redeemed me--Praise the name of Jesus! He has COMPASSION on me--DEEP compassion!!

Deeper Still

I am excited about going with my mama to a mother-daughter dinner at her church tonight. Debbie Sobeski is the speaker. It was quire comical when she invited me—she told me that she wanted me to come to a mother-daughter dinner but she wasn’t sure what the lady’s name was but someone at her church said that she was real good. Then she started telling me about how the lady’s daughter had died from cancer and that she had been a student at Dorman—by then I was laughing—not at the situation but at the fact that this is the third ladies’ event that I have been to this year with Debbie speaking! Mama thought I was losing my mind since I was laughing at a serious situation.

I really need to hear a fresh Word—and I am sure that Debbie will bring it. The Lord knew that I would need to hear from Him today. I have been in a funk this week—just real hormonal and emotional.

I had been looking forward to going to Deeper Still in Atlanta in June. My sister-in-law and I had talked about going to a Beth Moore conference last fall, so I found out that Atlanta would be as close as we could get this year. I asked her about it and it seemed to suit her as well, so I ordered the tickets in January. Well, yesterday I received an email from her telling me that she was not going to be able to go because it is her grandson’s birthday. I totally understand—I know that one day I hope to have a grandchild and I wouldn’t want to miss it either. I asked Eddie if he wanted to go—of course he said no—it’s a women’s thing!

I just wish that I didn’t take this kind of thing so personally. Sometimes I feel as though I am on an island but then I remember that I am never alone—Christ lives within me and He will never leave nor forsake me. I need to remember to call on Him when I am low and in need of someone. He says that He will take our load and we can rest on Him—but it doesn’t work unless we leave our load with Him and don’t pick it up again. I am so guilty of giving Him my problems, but then taking them back.

Father, I pray that I will give You all my burdens and that I will let You keep them. Lord, You know what my heart desires and no one but You could ever fulfill those desires. Please help me remember that and not expect others to fill a need that only You can fill. You have a plan for my life and I know that You desire for me to walk in Your will—allow me to have the strength to stand when I need to stand and allow me the humility to fall on You when I am weak.

*Update--my friend Emily is going with me to Atlanta. God is so good!!

Audrey Caroline

About 6-8 weeks ago, I stumbled across this blog. It is amazing! Be prepared--you will cry. The faith of this family is so amazing. God has definitely been glorified through their story. This song, "Carry You", was written by Angie and Todd along with Christa Wells who also wrote "Held" (recorded by Natalie Grant)and was recorded by Amy Perry (who sings in Selah) . The song will be on Selah's next CD to be released in the fall. I have a feeling that this song will be a hit as soon as it hits the air. I know that I will cry when I hear it because of the story behind the song. This is a slide show that was created and shown at Audrey Caroline's memorial service.

Moving On

One of the ways that Satan attacks me is through my fear of abandonment. I have always struggled to make friends—it started out in my childhood (as most of these insecurities do). As I was growing up, my sister and my cousins were my only close friends. We lived in the country and there were no little girls that lived around. At school, I was always envious of the girls that had best friends because I had never experienced that closeness of a girl that wasn’t related to me. In the sixth grade, it finally happened—I had a best friend! Her name was Teresa and I thought she was the best. She was actually bossy and very negative but she wanted to be my best friend, so of course I was willing to put up with that. I remember that day of the Christmas parade that year. Mama let me stay after school and walk uptown with Teresa. We had a little money and I remember going to the Dime Store and buying a record (probably something by Donny Osmond). It was the first time I had ever been anywhere without an adult and I felt very grownup! When we met up with Mama, Teresa asked her if I could go home with her and spend the night. (Now one of the rules of our household was that we could have no guests overnight because there were 5 of us kids that had to share a bedroom—there just wasn’t room.) Mama told her no—well Teresa wanted to know why, so Mama told her that if I went home with her, she would want to come to our house and she couldn’t because we lived in a “barn”. That seemed to satisfy Teresa, but it embarrassed me. Well, the next day at school, Teresa wasn’t my best friend anymore—in fact she wasn’t my friend at all anymore. She told everyone in the school that I lived in a barn and she would have nothing to do with me—I was devastated. It would be three more years before I had a best friend again.

Over the past five years, I have made friends with many godly women. I have been involved in a small group of women for the past four years and have grown very close to them. In the past year, I have been feeling a nudging from God that I am to lead a group of women. I have fought that—put it in the back of my mind and moved on more than once. But in the past few months, He has been convicting me that I need to step out in faith and lead a group of women. I finally got up the courage to tell my friends that I won’t be returning to small group. I told our leader and she seemed very supportive of the idea—so I just sent out an email to the rest of the ladies. I got one response that I would be missed but no one else responded. I felt doubts creeping in—what if this is not what I am supposed to do?—have I hurt someone’s feelings?—was sending an email the coward’s way out?—were they even my friends to start with?—how can God use me to lead a group of women when I have never been successful at friendships? All this to say—Satan uses what ever he can to cause me to doubt God and His work. He uses the area where I am most vulnerable to attack—he is a liar and a thief!

This morning my devotional was on Psalm 142 which David wrote in a cave when he was hiding from Saul. (From Beth Moore’s “David: 90 Days with a Heart like His”)

1.David prayed

2.David cried aloud

3.David poured out his complaint to God

4.He rehearsed his trust in God

5.David longed for God’s presence

6.David confessed his desperate need

I was reminded that I need to pour out my fears to God and just trust Him—He has a plan for me. I want so much to be in the center of His will –for Him to be glorified in everything I do. I know that I am not a natural leader, so this endeavor with have to be led by God—He will just use me as the vessel. I am willing Lord—Send me!

I am still not certain of the group that I am to lead, but I will continue to pray about it and I know that God will reveal it to me when the time comes.

Oh Lord, I pray that I will be obedient to Your will for my life and that whatever I do will be done for YOUR glory and not mine—because Lord, Your word tells me that You will share Your glory with no one! I love you, Lord Jesus! Amen.

Carried to the Table

Are your feet burning?

I remember when I was little, my mama told me about this man. I don’t know if he was related to her or just an acquaintance, but the old man was dying and he was not a Christian. Mama said that he was known for his mean ways and was proud that he was not a Christian. Well, when the man was on his deathbed, seems he started screaming that his feet were burning—not just crying but gut-wrenching wailing was coming from him. Mama said that he was crying like that because the fires of hell were lapping at his feet!

Well, fast forward a few years—I was out of high school and into the party scene. Some of my friends and I had big plans on that Friday night. We were going to a football game to watch our high school team play, but first we had to stop and get some alcoholic beverages. We were going down the road—I was riding alone in the backseat of the car and two of my friends were in the front (now I couldn’t tell you who they were for anything!). I had on blue jeans and tennis shoes and I remember my feet started getting hot—and that story my mama told me about that man started coming back to me. I took off my shoes and socks but that didn't seem to help-I thought I was going to die right there in that back seat—I was convinced that we were going to wreck and I was going to die and go straight to hell! That was a horrible, horrible feeling—something I hope to never experience again.

It is embarrassing to admit that I did things that I am not proud of before Jesus rescued me--and rescue me is exactly what He did. I was on the road to destruction all in the name of fitting in and having fun. I can remember that I didn't really desire to do those bad things, but it was a way to be accepted into a group of "cool" people. I shudder to think of the depths that I lowered myself trying to fill a void that only God could have filled--of course, I didn't know that at the time--I was just striving for attention and love. I just thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for loving me and removing all the sins that separated me from Him. It is hard to fathom how He could still love me--but I know that He does!

Well, I know I will never experience the fear of going to hell again because I know that I know that I know that if I were to die tonight—I will go to heaven. I will take my last breath here on earth and my next will be in heaven with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is such an overwhelming sense of peace to know that I will get to spend eternity—that’s forever folks—with the One who created me. I just cannot imagine how it will be. I think about the judgment houses that I have been in the past with the final part being in heaven—and how I don’t want to leave! I can’t imagine how heaven will really be—I don’t think any of us has an inkling of just how wonderful it will be. Hope to see you there!

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!

Fishing in the Rain

Yesterday, Eddie and I left home to go fishing at Lake Greenwood in the rain. We were not intending to go fishing in the rain, but it was raining when we left home and we had no idea if we would even be able to put the boat in the water. Fortunately, when we go there, it was very cloudy and it drizzled on us a little bit but within an hour, the sun was out and it turned out to be a beautiful afternoon. We caught a few fish so we were happy!

**Pictures were taken in September 2007 at Frogmore, SC

This trip reminded me of another time that we wanted to go fishing. It was right after Eddie and I had gotten married—we didn’t even own a boat so we borrowed my daddy’s boat. Of course, we didn’t have anything to pull the boat with so we also borrowed daddy’s van. It was on a Friday night and it was raining but we were convinced that the rain would pass. This was back in the early 1980’s, so there was no such things as cell phones or the Internet—things we take for granted now—I have instant weather on the desktop of my computer at all times and if I was on the lake, I could call someone at home and have them look online and see what the radar looked like. Some people even have radar service on their cell phone. Well, when we got to the Shrine Club, where we were going to launch the boat, it was raining pretty hard so we decided to wait it out. We waited and we waited—the rain grew heavier and heavier. Finally, we crawled into the back of the van and tried to take a nap but of course, I was afraid to go to sleep there—what if someone walked up and decided to try to rob us or something! I think we waited until midnight or so before we gave up and went home. I was so disappointed!

That disappointment reminds me of how much enthusiasm I put into things that I consider fun—like fishing, or decorating. or working on scrapbooks. Why then, do I not get as enthusiastic over sharing the Word? Our church is in the middle of a series of messages on being a witness. Last week, we were challenged to share our story with 2 people. How many people did I share my story with? Zilch—I am ashamed to say! Jesus commanded us to share the Good News—to be Fishers of Men—ahhh “FISHERS” of men—now that is one type of fishing that I should be doing-heck I could even do it in the rain! My challenge now is to share my story—surely I can do that!

Matthew 4:19 "Come follow me", Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

Extraordinary Women

These are some of the extraordinary women in my life:

Leigh Anne, my mother-in-law, and my niece Andrea.

My mama--with Travis and Baker

Cindy and Kristy

Emily and me

Slow Fade

The song by Casting Crowns has been speaking to me this morning. The song is based on Psalm 1:1

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

Do you get it? At first, he (the blessed man) is walking with God, not listening to advice from the world—then he is standing with God (not walking with Him, but still standing with Him) –then finally he is sitting (not growing, or maintaining, but just giving up). This Psalm illustrates how we don’t just one day quit being a Christian, a wife, a friend, etc. Most likely the change is gradual—slowly becoming detached from the emotions involved with the relationship. I see this alot in the life of Christians—like they are on fire for God and doing everything they can to develop that relationship along with working for the Kingdom. I think when they realize that they can’t always have a mountain-top experience and slowly fade from the disciplines that they should be doing until one day, they are no longer walking with Christ at all. I am afraid that I have been guilty of this many, many times. I know that I need to stay in His Word especially on the days when I think I can handle life on my own. I tend to become self-righteous—thinking that I can do this thing called life on my own when the truth is that I need to be growing in Christ during these times.

The evil one can come into your life and use common, ordinary things and slowly steal the joy of the Lord from you like a thief in the night. The childhood song, "Be careful little eyes what you see" takes on a new meaning. The things we allow into our lives by way of our senses--what we watch on TV, what kind of music we listen to, gossip, etc--affect us more than we realize. And we also need to realize that there are little eyes watching our every move--what kind of witness am I?


These are the lyrics:

© 2007 My Refuge Music/Club Zoo Music/SWECS Music (BMI) (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing)

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Fig Newtons and Diet Coke

Do you have some you can call in the middle of the night—someone who is not family but a close enough friend that she is considered family? That is the question that was posed to our Bible study group last night. It didn’t take me but a moment to answer that question.

On February 4, 2006—a Saturday night and Eddie had just returned home from a men’s retreat in Woodstock, Georgia. He was running late getting home because one of the men had car trouble and they had to turn around to help them. Since he was late, we had just finished supper and I had saved him a plate. While he was eating and telling me about his weekend, the phone rang. It was my mama telling me that my brother had been air-lifted to Spartanburg Regional Hospital—they weren’t sure if he had carbon monoxide poisoning (he was working on his race car) or a stroke, but mama was upset when she told me that they weren’t sure he was going to make it. So we jump in the car—I drive because Eddie had been driving all afternoon. When we get to the hospital, we were told to go into the family room right off the emergency room. The doctor came in and told us that Rick was brain-dead and that he would die in the next few hours. Well, after consoling Mama and Tammy (Rick’s wife), Amanda (his daughter) and Justin (his son), I went back to see him—I was not prepared! It was his body, but he wasn’t there—the only thing sustaining his life were the machines that forced air into his lungs. Gone was the talkative, never meets a stranger brother that I have always known and loved.

I called my Aunt Cookie and told her then I called my other brother Jerry and told him—I had been trying to call him (as had Mama before I got there) but his cell phone has no reception at his house and he was on the internet (he only has dial-up).

Then, I called my friend Kristy. I told her what was going on and asked her to pray and to call Emily (another friend). A little while later, Kristy called to tell me that she and Emily were on their way to the hospital. When they got there, it was late—probably around 11 or so. They stopped on the way and picked up a Diet Coke for me (they know me so well) and Emily came prepared with Fig Newtons in her purse. They stayed with me until around 3 or 4 a.m. and I was so thankful for them being there. It was such a sacrifice on their part—Emily had a 2 month old at home and she was on a—how shall I say it—schedule for feedings. Kristy had her family at home all snuggled in bed—I know how much she loves her sleep! But for them to be there for me at that difficult time means more to me than they will ever know.

Every time I see or think of a Fig Newton, I think of my dearest friends, Kristy and Emily. I love you both and I thank God for your friendship!

Left to right--Kristy, Leigh Anne, me, Emily--taken April 2007.

Me, Saul??

I am currently studying "David: 90 days with a heart like his" by Beth Moore and it is wonderful! I am being challenged daily--yesterday the scripture was 1 Samuel 9:14-25 and I found that Saul suffered from low self-esteem---imagine that!
In 1 Sam. 9:21 "Saul answered, "But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?"
This is what Beth has to say about that: "How do we distinguish between godly humility and low self-esteem? One key lies in our focus. A person with godly humility looks to the Master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. when we're really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. We must decrease so that He may increase."
Also, " ... a lack of confidence does not equal humility." Wow!! That really spoke to me because I have such a hard time accepting compliments or praise for something done well. Even though, deep down, I know that I did a good job, I don't want to appear boastful--which brings us to todays lesson.
From 1 Samuel 10:17-27 we learn that Saul was also a people pleaser. From Beth: "Rather than gratefully rejoicing in the privilege God was freely extending to him, Saul's concern ran to himself and what others would think of him."
Question in my book: " What has this desire caused you to do or not do in the past?"
My answer: It has caused me to make poor choices in the past and it has caused me not to grow in Christ like I should because I was too busy trying to please others and worrying about what others would think of me.
This is a wonderful study--something that I look forward to getting up for every morning!

March in Review

Well, I cannot believe that March is over! Whew--this year is 1/4 gone already!! Time sure flies when you're having fun.
On March 21, we went to see Casting Crowns--what an awesome concert! I took a few pictures, but they turned out to be too dark and blurred. I just love the messages that their songs bring--they are so real--no sugar-coating it in any of their songs! The songs that Mark Hall writes are so relevant to my life--I think that is what makes them so popular--people are tired of pretending.
Before the concert, we met some friends from church for supper. They were so excited because they had back-stage passes before the concert. I would have been excited too!
Last Saturday, Eddie and I took the boat out for the first time this year. We went to Lake Greenwood--it was real windy but the temperature was around 80 degrees. It was a beautiful day but apparently the fish did not agree! We did not get the first bite but we enjoyed each other's company. We stopped by to see if Martha Anne and Jake were at the cabin and they were so we sat and talked to them for about an hour. It is so good to spend time with them--I just love both of them so much!
Sunday was Easter--the day that we celebrate the risen Savior--Hallelujah! This is Leigh Anne on Easter morning--isn't she beautiful?

We had to be at church at 7:30 a.m. because we had to sing in both services. There were a lot of people there that we only see once or twice a year. I hope that the message spoke to them--Tony preached a great message.
The week was very busy at work and I spent every night working on a Scrapbook for a coworker that is retiring. I gave it to her Thursday night--it seemed to be a great hit!
Friday night started the Extraordinary Women's Conference in Greenville. We had lots of fun Friday night--Chondra Pierce was the main speaker--she is a hoot! We had a Mandissa concert as well as a Ritchie McDonald (Lonestar) mini-concert. Saturday morning, Lisa Whechel spoke then Carol Kent, Thelma Wells, and Angela Thomas. All of these ladies were awesome speakers and had such wonderful (tear-jerking)messages! Also on Saturday, Mark Schultz was there for a concert and Charles Billingsley led the worship all weekend. It was a great conference.
I am glad that I took the day off today because I needed a day to recuperate as well as get my house cleaned!

Good Friday?

I have always wondered why the day that our Lord died upon the cross was called Good Friday. It always seemed to be an oxymoron of sorts to me--how could something so horrific be titled good? Well, the thing that I didn't realize, until I grew in my faith, is that even though Christ suffered greatly upon that cross, His death was not in vain. It was necessary--a part of God's plan to bring us into fellowship with Him. If not for His death and resurrection, we would be separated from God. Jesus became the bridge between us and God--Praise God we don't have to go through a priest to seek the face of God--we only have to call His name--He is always with me!
Another thing that I am reminded of every year on Good Friday is that is on that day in 1989 that we buried Ronald (my baby brother). He died on March 22, 1989 in a car accident. It seems so long ago now. I sometimes wonder what he would be like if he were still alive. He would be almost 41 years old now--it's hard to imagine him being that old. In my mind, he is still a kid!
He was such a sweet fellow--he was my baby brother. I kind of felt like a mama to him even though I was only 7 years older than him. He was the type of person that would do anything for you--he had a learning disability and was taken advantage of a lot of times. We would con him into just about anything--that was so mean of us, but he took everything in stride. It used to make me so mad when Rick and Jerry would call him 'Wormy' because he was so thin--after a while they just shortened it to 'Worm'. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now--but I think that he liked having a nickname--it made him feel like he belonged. He was so proud of Tonya, his baby girl--she was only 19 months old when he died and I am sad to say that I have no idea where she is today. Her mother made a lot of bad choices after Ronald died.
Well, the laundry is beckoning...hopefully it won't be so long between posts next time!

Giving God the Glory!

"I am the Lord; that is My Name! I will not give My glory to another or My praise to idols...Let them give glory to the Lord and proclaim His praise...!" Is. 42:8,12

I saw this scripture on Beth Moore’s blog and I was convicted. There are so many times when it is evident that God has done a work in my life and I don’t give Him the glory He is due. Why do I struggle with this? I should be shouting from the rooftops, “Look at what my God has done for me!”. I should be giving Him all the praise that He deserves just for being who He is. He is LORD! He is my provider, my sustainer, my redeemer, my resurrection, my strength, my healer, my sin bearer, my counselor, my creator, my rock, my deliverer and so much more. Oh, how I love Him!

The Lord has brought me out of a slimy pit and set my feet on the rock—I am no longer standing on shifting sand, but the never-changing Word of the Most High. Praise God!! There are so many things that He has brought me through—and I am so thankful that He has allowed me the opportunity to experience the life that I have lived. Whew! I never thought that I would say that. I remember one Sunday when Rhett preached, the sermon was on the sovereignty of God and how He allows everything to happen. I asked Rhett, “Well, what about when bad things happen to children?” I don’t remember his exact words, but it was something to the effect that God is able to bring good from anything bad. Since that time, one of my favorite passages in the Bible is Isaiah 61:3 “…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” I truly think that God has given me beauty from ashes. The scars that I have inside are a reminder that if not for the grace of God, I would still be in the pit. There is no telling where I would be if not for His grace and mercy. You see, I was heading down a path of self-destruction, trying to fill a God-sized hole in my life with worldly stuff—some of it bad, bad stuff. He has truly given me a testimony and I should be shouting it from the rooftop! Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all that You have done in my life and all that You are going to do—I can’t wait to see what’s next!!

Fishing Buddies

Isn't this the sweetest picture? My great-nephews were at the lake fishing when their Nana took their picture. I just love this picture.

My Hero!

I have known my hero in my heart all of my life. I have known that he would first and foremost love Jesus with all of his heart, mind, and strength. I have known that he would be the best husband, daddy and friend that a person could ask for. I have also known that he would love me unconditionally and that would be a tall order! You see, there are lots of times that I am not totally lovable—I know that is surprising (especially to those that know me so well:) ). Most days find me more concerned about myself than his needs or wants. Bless his heart, when the children were young, he did get pushed aside many a day because my energy was focused on them. There are times that I wish I could go back and do some of those days over, but for the most part, I am happy with the way our life has turned out. You see, after almost 28 years of marriage, I love him more than I ever have! He is the most considerate and loving husband—I couldn’t have asked for better! God truly has blessed me with this man.

There are some things that he has done over 28 years of marriage that merit praise:

1. I knew the day I met him that I would marry him-- he was such a gentleman.

2. When I was pregnant, he shaved my legs for me.

3. When we had babies, he was right there beside me (back then, they still had “Father’s Waiting Rooms”!)

4. He changed as many diapers as I did.

5. I didn’t work outside the home so I got up with them during the week, but he got up with them on the weekends so that I could sleep.

6. He helps with the cleaning.

7. He is a terrific nurse when I am sick.

8. He does all of the yardwork(a lot of yard!)

9. If I ever want anything, he gets it for me if he can. ex. I wanted a sewing room, so he built a corner of the garage in for me.

10. He never complains about what I cook.

11. He loves to take me fishing.

12. He tolerates all my craft projects.

13. He supports anything that I undertake.

14. He knows when something is bothering me and will try to fix it if he can.

15. He loves our children.

16. He loves me!

17. He is my best friend!

Thank You, Lord for seeing fit to gift me with a help-meet that is just a perfect fit for me. He is my hero!

I may have only known him in reality for 28+ years, but I have known exactly what the man that I married would be like for all of my life. It was my heart’s desire to have a marriage like the one I have and I am truly thankful!