Not Alone

There have been times in my life that I felt totally alone. Sometimes in a crowd, I feel more alone than ever. But, I think the darkest times of my life were the days of my teenage years. I was not a ‘cool’ kid, but I longed to be—I was not a straight-A student, but I longed to be—I was not the apple of my parents’ eye, but I longed to be—I did not feel loved, but how I longed for that most of all. Looking back, it pains me to think of all the mistakes that I made in that search for love—all those times I was trying to fill a void in my life. What I didn’t know then was that I could search the world over and never find another person or thing to fill that gap—that gap that can only be filled with the love of Christ.

I remember that when my Papa died, I got to have his bedroom at my Granny’s house—for some reason, they had separate bedrooms. His bedroom was now mine—at first, it was kind of creepy sleeping in there. I would lie in bed and think about him and wonder if his ‘ghost’ would come in the night (hey, I was 11 years old!) to scare me. There was a picture on the wall beside my bed in that room. It was a picture that I am sure has been printed millions of times—nothing original about it, but I would lie there and wonder if there was an angel watching over me. I couldn’t imagine being in the kind of danger like the little girl and boy in the picture. I would go to sleep thinking about that picture and how those children were being protected--I would wonder if they knew there was an angel standing guard over them. What I didn’t realize was that I was in danger, just not the same kind of danger. I was in danger of destroying myself—by trying to fill a void—by trying to feel accepted—by being a people-pleaser.
I now know that I was not alone--my LORD was with me. He protected me, He rescued me, and He redeemed me. Since I came to the cross, I know that I am never alone--His word tells me in Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Right before my Granny died, she called me to come to her house--she had something she wanted to give me. When I got there, she had the picture down and ready for me to take home with me. It matches nothing in my home (it is hanging in my sewing room) but I would take nothing for it. It has no monetary value, but it is priceless to me!

(not a good picture--a lot of glare on the glass)