Deeper Still

I am excited about going with my mama to a mother-daughter dinner at her church tonight. Debbie Sobeski is the speaker. It was quire comical when she invited me—she told me that she wanted me to come to a mother-daughter dinner but she wasn’t sure what the lady’s name was but someone at her church said that she was real good. Then she started telling me about how the lady’s daughter had died from cancer and that she had been a student at Dorman—by then I was laughing—not at the situation but at the fact that this is the third ladies’ event that I have been to this year with Debbie speaking! Mama thought I was losing my mind since I was laughing at a serious situation.

I really need to hear a fresh Word—and I am sure that Debbie will bring it. The Lord knew that I would need to hear from Him today. I have been in a funk this week—just real hormonal and emotional.

I had been looking forward to going to Deeper Still in Atlanta in June. My sister-in-law and I had talked about going to a Beth Moore conference last fall, so I found out that Atlanta would be as close as we could get this year. I asked her about it and it seemed to suit her as well, so I ordered the tickets in January. Well, yesterday I received an email from her telling me that she was not going to be able to go because it is her grandson’s birthday. I totally understand—I know that one day I hope to have a grandchild and I wouldn’t want to miss it either. I asked Eddie if he wanted to go—of course he said no—it’s a women’s thing!

I just wish that I didn’t take this kind of thing so personally. Sometimes I feel as though I am on an island but then I remember that I am never alone—Christ lives within me and He will never leave nor forsake me. I need to remember to call on Him when I am low and in need of someone. He says that He will take our load and we can rest on Him—but it doesn’t work unless we leave our load with Him and don’t pick it up again. I am so guilty of giving Him my problems, but then taking them back.

Father, I pray that I will give You all my burdens and that I will let You keep them. Lord, You know what my heart desires and no one but You could ever fulfill those desires. Please help me remember that and not expect others to fill a need that only You can fill. You have a plan for my life and I know that You desire for me to walk in Your will—allow me to have the strength to stand when I need to stand and allow me the humility to fall on You when I am weak.

*Update--my friend Emily is going with me to Atlanta. God is so good!!