To GOD be the GLORY!

When I first heard this rendition of this song, the very first person I thought of was my friend Emily and she will probably kill me for this! I sat and listened to this song and wept. I wept because of Audrey Caroline and the amazing faith of her mother, Angie--I wept because Todd can really sing-- and I wept when I remembered praying for a baby for Emily and Colby--praying that God's will would be the same as our desire--praying that God would see fit to bless them with a miracle. We were reminded that it wasn't just about having a baby--it was about giving up control--surrendering all--and I do mean ALL--it was about God performing a miracle that only HE could perform--and it was about God getting the GLORY--because we now know...GOD shares His glory with NO ONE! It was not about procedures, positions(oh my!), frequency(oh my, again!), or even about cricks or lace! (Inside joke) It was about surrendering all to the ONE who gives life--to maker of us all--to the one who knew us before time began--to the one who knit us together so perfectly in our mother's womb. He knew that He was going to bless them with sweet Matthew--and then just 16 months later with Sarah Katherine--but we didn't know that at the time. We just had to place our trust in HIM and know that He knows our future and His timing is not always the same as ours --but it is perfect, just like HE is!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

This is Matthew(aka Shu)--how cool is he?



And Sarah Katherine (aka Sissy)

Me, Afraid?

Back when I was a little girl, one of the things that terrified me most was the sound of an ambulance siren. One of the privileges of staying with my granny was that I got to carry Papa’s lunch or dinner to him at his store. I would carry his meal on a round tray—I can remember being so careful not to spill his coffee or to let his plate slip on that tray. It wasn’t far to his store—just next door, but I had to walk down the steps, then out the gate and across the parking lot to his store. They lived on the highway—back then, it was in the middle of the country—that is now called the ‘famous’ Woodruff Road. I can remember being on my way back to the house with Papa’s empty dishes on the tray and in the distance I could here the faint sounds of a siren coming up the highway. As it got closer and closer, I tried to move faster and faster—I can still hear those dishes rattle as I was trying to get inside before that ambulance got there. As I barely got inside the door, I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked out the window to see the vehicle from a safe vantage point. I don’t know what it was about that sound—it wasn’t like the sounds that ambulances make now—it was more long and drawn out—a real mournful sound. And the ambulances certainly don’t look like they did then—they were black and white station wagons with a red light on top—think Andy Griffin-ish.

I have always wondered why I would be afraid of something that may have the ability to save my life.

In Exodus 19 and 20, God had spoken to Moses and told him to tell the people to cleanse and consecrate themselves because the Lord was going to come to them on the third day. Well, on the third day when the people heard the thunder and saw the lightning on Mt. Sinai , they were afraid and told Moses that they didn’t want hear from God themselves, but wanted Moses to bring them the Word. The Israelites were afraid of the very One who could save them, the only One who could deliver them—and because of their fear, they received the message from Moses instead directly from the Lord.

At Deeper Still, Atlanta; Priscilla spoke on this scripture—along with several other verses—and I was really convicted that I rely on others to bring me the Word instead of digging and searching for it myself and letting God speak directly to me. It has been over 2 weeks since that Friday night, but that message is still fresh in my mind. I honestly believe that was the Word that the Lord had for me that weekend.

To be honest, it makes me afraid—afraid that I won’t be able to study the Word as well as Beth Moore could teach me, as thoroughly as Kay Arthur could teach, or as well as Priscilla Shirer could teach me. How can I dig for the nuggets? It is just overwhelming! There is so much in God’s word that I don’t know—I just pray that He would reveal what He wants me to learn. I really don't want to watch from a safe vantage point like I did with that ambulance--I want to be right in the center of where God wants me to be--even if it means being afraid--because I know that He will protect me. I also know that what He has to say to me will mean a whole lot more if I hear it for myself.

God with Us

I remember the very first time that I actually worshiped my Heavenly Father—my friend and co-worker, Libby, had told me about a musical that her church, Chestnut Ridge was doing. She talked about how the music was just so worshipful and that she had a demo cassette tape that she had been listening to and offered to let me borrow the tape. I remember that Eddie was working second shift and my children were little. I had put them to bed and put the tape on to play while I cleaned my kitchen. As soon as I started listening, I was brought before the Throne of Grace. I had never experienced such worship! I had tears in my eyes as I was overcome with such love—I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I think that was my very first taste of the kind of worship that I knew I was made for—the kind of worship that is uninhibited and allows for God to be truly praised.

At that time, I was a member of a very ritualistic denomination—a very loving congregation but missing that element of worship. Well, I set out to change the way we worshiped. I asked for more contemporary music, more in depth prayer groups, more intimate conversations in Sunday School—any kind of program that I thought would bring our little church to it’s knees, I wanted to try. After a while, Eddie got on the bandwagon too—we were on fire for the Lord, but our denomination kept extinguishing the flames or at least they tried. There were some issues in our church that we did not agree with and we sought to get them changed. By this time our children were teenagers and their Sunday School teacher was living a sinful lifestyle—but our church seemed to turn a blind eye where that was concerned. Eddie confronted that person and told him that he was living in sin and needed to repent—he told Eddie that he was sorry he felt the way he did but offered no remorse. Eddie then approached the pastor and several members but was told that it was not our place to judge him and we should just love him and accept him as he was—we did love him, but not his sin. After a while, we decided that the only people that were going to change were us—that is when we decided to change churches. It was not a decision that we made lightly—this was the church that Eddie had been raised in and the church that we married in, our children were raised there—we had many good memories associated with that church. We prayed and asked God to reveal His plan for us—to lead us to a place where we could grow and worship Him. I remember that we talked with an older lady in our church one night—we told her of our conviction that we needed to change churches but that we were torn because of the ties we had with that church. I will never forget what she told us—she said, “Eddie, this will hurt your mama badly, but she will get over it. You have to do what is right for you and your family.” I really appreciated her telling us that—she died shortly after we moved but I will always have that memory of her.

The first church I wanted to visit was Chestnut Ridge, of course. I longed for that worship and praise that I had experienced on that tape. Well, we ended up only visiting one other church and deciding that Chestnut Ridge was where we belonged. I am so glad that God was with us and directed us to this place. We have grown so much spiritually, praised God like I never imagined and made some amazing friends. Thank you Jesus for being our Strength and our Refuge—for being ever present—always with us.

June in Review

Where has the time gone? I have been so busy lately! The month of June was packed with fun and lots of memories for me.
The first week of June, we had Bible school at church. It was wonderful! I think I enjoyed it as much as the children! And I think Pastor Tony enjoyed it a little too much??

Eddie and I spent our 28th anniversary at Frogmore (aka St. Helena's Island, SC) fishing, eating, and just enjoying each other's company. It was absolutely wonderful--although we didn't catch much of anything except sharks. It must have been spawning season, because they were everywhere! I did catch one Spotted Sea Trout.

We went to the lake fishing a few times--caught a good many bream for the freezer. It won't be long before we can have a fish fry!




Last weekend, to top off the month, Emily and I went to Atlanta for Deeper Still. Amazing! I was just overwhelmed with the messages I received--I am still processing them! I will post more on this later.

Let Your Glory Fall

The Lord has truly let His glory fall upon our church. The past week has been a time of great sorrow, grief, and uncertainty for the youth of our church. One of our youth was in a car accident that resulted in his death. It has been amazing to see the body of Christ come together and grow closer because of this tragedy. I truly believe that this tragedy will not be in vain--I believe that our church is on the cusp of revival and I believe that it is going to be awesome. God is pouring out His glory on the body of Chestnut Ridge Baptist Church and I pray that we will never be the same again.
This song brings tears to my eyes--and I noticed that Don Moen has tears in his eyes also.

Isaiah 42:8 "I am the LORD; that is my name!

I will not give my glory to another
or my praise to idols.

Waiting

I should be used to waiting by now! It seems all my life has been spent waiting on others.

The first instance that I can remember waiting involved my grandmother. I was very close to “Granny”—I spent every available moment with her. I would have lived with her when I was little if I could have! In fact, after my papa died when I was 11, I did practically live with her because she afraid to stay alone. Anyway, when I was 6 or 7 years old, Granny and my aunt and uncle were going to the lake for the weekend. They asked me if I would like to go and of course I said yes, but I had to go ask my mama and get some clothes together. We lived just across a big pasture from Granny, so I ran home and hurriedly threw some things together and hurried back to Granny’s. When I got there, her door was locked and no one was home. Papa had a store right next door and he was there but he said he didn’t know if Granny and Cookie (my aunt) had left yet—maybe they had to run back to Cookie’s house to pick up something? Well, I sat there on the curb at the gas pumps for hours—everyone that came by asked what I was doing and I enthusiastically told them that I was going to the lake with my granny. I remember watching the road—I can see myself watching every car that came across the bridge from toward my aunt’s house thinking that this would be them. Looking back, I wonder why my papa didn’t just tell me to go on home—I guess he didn’t want to see me cry?? Finally at dark, I headed home—rejected and so disappointed.

This is my granny with my cousin, Alan and me at the lake after a productive day of fishing. (Notice the kerchief--my Granny insisted on covering your head in the wind--might get an earache or catch a cold!)

It seems this started a pattern in my life—just put what I want to do on hold while I wait on others to come and rescue me. I have always been afraid to make plans because there might be no one to show up—or someone else may have something better planned. It disturbs me that I have allowed this fear to control my life—the fear of rejection—of being left behind—of being disappointed. Eddie learned a long time ago that anytime he mentions doing something—like going fishing or buying a piece of furniture or looking at cars—he may as well go ahead and get ready because if he says anything about it, I think we are going to do it right then! Don’t mention to me that you might want to do something, because once I hear it—I am ready to go and I think that is because I am afraid that you might go without me. I am almost always early to special events because I am afraid of being left out—especially if there is a group that is meeting to travel together somewhere.

The Lord has me waiting on Him in this season of my life. I have heard Him call me to lead a Bible study, but I am waiting on Him to reveal the ones that I am supposed to approach to invite to join. This is very stressing to me—to know that I am supposed to do this but when? Who? Will they come? What if …? I can only trust that the Lord will reveal His will and pray that I will be obedient to walk in it. The difference between waiting on people and waiting on the Lord is that I know the Lord will not leave me nor will He forsake me. He has promised me that He will always be with me and that His word says that He will fill me with joy in His presence. I praise Him that He is faithful and merciful--He is holy and just and without Him, I would be without hope.

Psalm 33:20-22

20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

The More I Seek Him

Amanda has a post that really captures some of the feelings that I have when I think of running into people who knew me before Christ cleaned up my life. Isaiah 61 has been a passage that has brought me comfort. I have always cared too much about what others think of me and have avoided stepping out in faith because of that. There have been things that I know that I could be doing that I am not because of that fear. I blame my lack of obedience on my personality--not a leader, non-confrontational, people-pleaser, analytical, and the list goes on. But I am reminded that most of the people that God used in the Bible had some sort of personality issue--Peter was wishy-washy, Moses had trouble speaking, Paul was a persecutor of Christians, David was an adulterer and a murderer, and I could go on and on. The point is, if God can take imperfect people like that and use them as He did, then God can clearly use me for His purpose. Even though my sins were as scarlet, they have now been washed whiter than snow; as far as the east is from the west, so have my sins been removed from me.
I am finding that the more I seek Him, the more I realize that He doesn't intend for me to worry about what other people think and whatever "baggage" I may have in my past. He only wants me to live for Him now--to use what I have learned through those experiences to help others grow closer to Him. The Lord showed me this scripture in Isaiah this morning:

Isaiah 54:2-8

2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

I feel the Lord is telling me that He is telling me that He is enlarging my territory--that He is about to do something remarkable with my life. He is telling me to not be afraid--that I will not be shamed by the sins of my youth. He has called me back to Himself and He will be my strength and my fortress. He has redeemed me--Praise the name of Jesus! He has COMPASSION on me--DEEP compassion!!