The More I Seek Him

Amanda has a post that really captures some of the feelings that I have when I think of running into people who knew me before Christ cleaned up my life. Isaiah 61 has been a passage that has brought me comfort. I have always cared too much about what others think of me and have avoided stepping out in faith because of that. There have been things that I know that I could be doing that I am not because of that fear. I blame my lack of obedience on my personality--not a leader, non-confrontational, people-pleaser, analytical, and the list goes on. But I am reminded that most of the people that God used in the Bible had some sort of personality issue--Peter was wishy-washy, Moses had trouble speaking, Paul was a persecutor of Christians, David was an adulterer and a murderer, and I could go on and on. The point is, if God can take imperfect people like that and use them as He did, then God can clearly use me for His purpose. Even though my sins were as scarlet, they have now been washed whiter than snow; as far as the east is from the west, so have my sins been removed from me.
I am finding that the more I seek Him, the more I realize that He doesn't intend for me to worry about what other people think and whatever "baggage" I may have in my past. He only wants me to live for Him now--to use what I have learned through those experiences to help others grow closer to Him. The Lord showed me this scripture in Isaiah this morning:

Isaiah 54:2-8

2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

I feel the Lord is telling me that He is telling me that He is enlarging my territory--that He is about to do something remarkable with my life. He is telling me to not be afraid--that I will not be shamed by the sins of my youth. He has called me back to Himself and He will be my strength and my fortress. He has redeemed me--Praise the name of Jesus! He has COMPASSION on me--DEEP compassion!!